The hospital

My husband and I chose the cerclage. A cerclage is a procedure that sews the cervix closed until delivery time.  It does not always work, and according to Dr. Smith, is riskier if done in later pregnancy like mine.  Somewhere about 50/50 or a little less.  If done early in pregnancy it seems to have a much better outcome. 
     Dr Smith put me in the head down postition to await my cerclage.  This is supposed to take the pressure off your cervix.  It is a miserable position for someone with the sinus swelling I have had with the pregnancy.  I was elated though, and would have stayed that way until my 40th week.  Finally it felt like we were doing something positive.  My procedure was scheduled and more ultrasounds to check for any abnormalties in our baby.  Dr Smith explained that if they found anything there would be no heroic efforts.  This actually surprised me, I just assumed it was OUR decision.  Turns out that that hospitals are dealing with high costs and insurance companies and whether they will pay for heroic efforts.  Isn't that ridiculous?  I guess there is a price on life after all.  But anyone dealing with insurances can tell you that, I guess.
     We went through all the tests, the ultrasound measurings, the blood tests and the five antibiotics to protect Robert from infection.  It turns out, he was perfect in every way. That actually hurt worse.  He was just being betrayed by the body that is supposed to protect him. I felt so desparate to save him.  I cried and I cried.  I tried very hard not to.  I knew a positive outlook was good for him.  Truly, even though I was afraid, I never thought I would lose him.  God just would not do that to me.  Give me a child now, to take him away.  I believed I would just have to suffer for him, but he would be fine.  God was not cruel. My husband felt that now, that we had the best doctor, our son had a chance.
     The next morning they came to do the procedure.  I was terrified.  Doctor Smith told me there was a chance the amniotic sack could be nicked in the procedure and that would be bad.  The anaesthesiologist came and gave me the options.  I could get a spinal or go under entirely.  Hmmm what do you think a wussy girl like me chose?  There is no way I could stay awake while someone was stitching my cervix closed!  Believe it or not the anaesthesiologist was angry with me at not choosing the local.  When I woke up from the procedure, I asked right away if they nicked anything.  Dr Smith assured me that it went very well.  He was worred about the weak spot in the amniotic sack from protruding slightly from the dialated cervix.  He said we would have to wait and see. 
     I had a visit that day from the neonatal team.  They told me that if my son was born they usually do not try to do heroic efforts to save a baby that is less than 26 weeks gestation.  I was floored.  Again, we stated we wanted every heroic effort made to save our son.  They recorded our wishes and  left.  Now it was just a waiting game.
     After my three day course of antibiotics, a doctor came to our room and told us we should go home for the waiting period and of course I would be on bed rest.  We were horrified I was to go home.  We were well over an hour away and what if something happened???  We argued back and forth, but the doctor was adamant that our insurance would not cover the waiting period and that I was at higher risk for infection IN the hospital than at home.  Reluctantly my husband and I packed to go home.